We all have our personal level of being worried, it actually doesn’t change much with external circumstances. Some people are just happy-go-lucky, while others tend to constantly mull in the past and worry about the future.
Accept your worries. Then take action!
External events might push us up or down for a while, but surprisingly we all bounce back to our personal levels, no matter how dramatic an event happened to be. A death of a loved one is devastating, but usually people move back to their previous happiness level after a while. Winning the lottery is thrilling, but the glamor fades aways quickly – as does the money in most cases.
Accept and embrace your personal level of worries. It is just what it is. Work with your worries, embrace them and take them as signals for things you can either improve in your current environment or at least mitigate.
However, don’t day-dream and hope that all your worries will be magically solved if only that specific one thing would change (e.g. you get that promotion, you move to that new place, you quit that job,…).
Your worries will not change because of external events. They will only change because of actions YOU take or mindset changes YOU make.
Fix your problems here and now and take them as opportunities to learn and grow. Don’t hope for that external change, that will make everything magically better.
Hope is a bad strategy.
Be in the here and now
Most times, taking action is the right approach, but sometimes you also need to change your perspective.
Mindfulness is a proven way to reduce your worries and increase your overall happiness. Observe the small things, like the taste and heat of the cup of coffee you hold in your hands. Enjoy the moment and the current pleasures, like the sunrays dancing on your face.
Be in the here and now.
Likewise, the people we are surrounded with influence our own moods in a great way. If you surround yourself with negative people, you will likely also develop a bleak view of the world. Change it. There are no brownie points for putting up with negative or rude people. Ditch them immediately and move on to greener pastures. If they happen to be family – do the same.
There are no free rides, people need to live up to being in your inner circle.
There are also times when an external change is actually needed. In those cases, move on and let go. At times, that’s good and necessary, just don’t think that you will magically be a happier or better person if you don’t change any of your inner parameters and attitudes along with it.
Did you like this article? Want to read more?
I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:
Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps
By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk
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