Spiritual Balance – Week 37: Have Dinner with Friends and Family

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We already talked about the importance of spending time with family and friends. One great and proven way to do that is by sharing meals together.

There is plenty of science, as well as just age-old experience, that sharing meals together serves a strong bonding function.

Share meals with friends and family. Talk about the day, thoughts, dreams and worries. Make it a priority every day.

Share meals with your teams, friends and family. Cook together or go out to eat together. While you’re sharing food, spend time talking and laughing. Play games, listen to the stories of the day.

Make this a priority every day.

Do NOT check your messages, play with your phone or read the news. Meal time is ‘together time’. Value the time others spend dining with you by giving them your full attention.

If you want to bond with your kids and share your values and priorities with them, it is critically important to share meals together. Those occasions allow for catching up on the day in a relaxed environment, sharing ideas, thoughts, passions and even worries that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Studies have shown, that sharing meals is critical for a healthy development of children. Leaving food in the fridge and having everyone snack at different times just doesn’t cut it.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

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Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 36: Be Home When You’re Home

What is the most important part of your life? What will be the one thing that remains when everything weakens and fades away (like your career, your friends and eventually your health)?

It’s your family. Your family is the one thing that won’t go away – that is unless you screw it up.

Work hard at the office. Be home when you’re home. Disconnect. Develop a shut down routine for the transition.

Work hard at the office. Follow your hobbies and passions. But not at the expense of the time you spend with and invest in your family.

You will not be able to get back time that you have wasted. When your parents left this world they will be gone. Anything you didn’t say until then will remain unheard forever. If you don’t bind with your kids while they are young and looking up to you, chances are they will not care much about you once they are grown up and independent.

Family should be your single most important priority. Then comes health and your own wellbeing (put on your own oxygen mask first). After that follow your passions. Everything else comes after.

When you’re home be home.

Work hard at the office but then turn everything off and mentally disconnect on your way back home. When you’re home, be home! Don’t check back on messages or return phone calls. Don’t fret over your problems at work, you won’t solve them that evening anyway. Tomorrow is another day. Often problems are solved over night anyway, as we grant our subconscious brain the freedom to go where it needs to go without our interference.

Develop a shut down and transition routine

Turn everything off when you leave your office. Develop a shut down routine to help yourself disconnect from work worries. Shutdown routines can be anything from closing your books, tidying up your work desk or shutting down your computer. Make it a routine though and over time it will automatically trigger your brain into the right state.

Further the mental transition on your commute. Drop work thoughts and get into family thoughts. Do this even if it’s just from room to room for folks who work at home. Physical separation between work and family helps a lot. If you do work at home, be sure to have a place for work and a place for family. If you are a stay at home parent, don’t make the place where you gather and play in the evening the place where you do your chores.

When you’re home be home. Don’t check emails, check in with your family and friends!

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 35: Open Doors

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I’m a person of lists and plans. I always want to have a plan for the short and longer term. I need to be organized to feel comfortable and be in control.

However, I was also taught by my teacher early on in my martial arts training, that situations constantly change and we need to adapt to new opportunities and challenges. As they say in the military: “all plans are outdated upon first contact with the enemy”.

Have a plan and follow it. However, watch out for unexpected opportunities and be flexible enough to change your plan to embrace them.

We need to have a plan and a goal to know where we want to go to, and to make progress towards that destination, instead of wandering aimlessly around (“going nowhere fast”). However, that plan must not make us myopic and oblivious for necessary change.

Throughout my life, I always had a plan, but the best things happened when an unexpected opportunity presented itself and I reached out for it. Even though many times I was scared to my bones.

Having a plan and working towards it, prepares us to be ready for the moment when opportunities present themselves. However, if we don’t make the leap and grasp them, all the preparation was for nothing.

Have a plan, work on it. Prepare yourself, but be ready to drop your plan and adjust to the moment when needed. Don’t be scared of unexpected opportunities. They are when magic happens in life.

I recently read a very similar idea in ‘Racing Winter on the Pacific Crest Trail’, by Kyle S Rohrig. It goes like this:

There are always doors that open unexpectedly for us. Walk through them. After you walk through an open door, new doors will open up behind, eventually leading to an endless universe of open doors and opportunities. You find good thing behind open doors.

If you close the door, the opportunities end right there. That’s it, end of story, you’re stuck. Being stuck is stagnation. Stagnation is the beginning of the end.

Or in the words of Daoism:

When we are young we are flexible, we push out, we try new things and grow. When we stop being curious and flexible, we get hard. When we get hard, we break, crumble and fade away.

Be open, be flexible, see opportunities!

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 34: Be Part of the Solution, Not the Problem

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You have three basic options to react when you are faced with a challenge, problem or just a frustrating situation: (1) you can hide your head in the ground and hope it goes away, (2) you can complain about it and become part of the problem, making it even worse or (3) you can find ways to address and improve the situation, becoming part of the solution.

We already established that hope is a bad strategy, hence (1) is not a good path to follow. For obvious reasons, (2) is not any better, unless you are striving for a live of self-inflicted pain and misery.

Don’t be part of the problem. Be part of the solution.

So rather than dwelling in your pity, think about solutions you can bring to the table when you’re faced with a tough or frustrating problem.

This happens to me every day. I go along with my day, and then out of the blue, I get that email which makes me want to choke someone’s throat. Like everyone else, I get angry for a moment. However, I try to be conscious of that reaction, and then step back and think of other ways to react. Often I will take a few hours or even a good night sleep before I respond. That gives my subconscious mind some time to process and come up with a different perspective.

In Tai Chi we say “there is always a third way”. Usually we only think about two reactions whan confronted with an unpleasant situation: give in or fight back (fight or flight). There is always a third way through which you can turn the situation into something positive.

When faced with something that annoys you, don’t give up, look away and walk away. Be part of the solution, find a creative way to solve the problem, drive that solution. Once your mission is accomplished, look back and be proud of how you reacted and what change you drove.

When I am faced with something that makes my blood boil or makes me want to scream at someone, I give it a big pause first. Pretty much all problems can wait for a moment. A well thought through response and action plan is always better than a rushed one. Then I ask myself these three questions:

  • What is the opportunity for change?
  • How can I avoid or improve a similar situation in the future?
  • How can I help others through situations like this?

I even have a Post-It sticker with those three questions on my office desk as a reminder.

I give it a moment or two. I find the third way, do what needs to be done and then move on. In every single case I will be way more satisfied than if I had given in to my first impulses.

Whenever possible, try to identify the root cause of the initial issue and solve it so that the same situation won’t happen again.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.