Spiritual Balance – Week 46: Explore Your Purpose

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What is your purpose? What makes you get up in the morning? What keeps you going when the going gets tough?

Understand your values and purpose. Then take a critical look at what you are doing right now. Be willing to experiment and take risks. And always keep your eyes open for opportunities that present themselves.

The passion trap

In many ways we are over-emphasizing purpose and passion today. We tell High school kids that they need to find their passion when they pick a career. An impossible task at that age. Many people actually never discover what their passion really is.

Doing something, that you are sufficiently interested in, with full dedication until you head towards mastery often turns into passion. This is in fact a more likely way to find something that you will be passionate about, than soul-searching for the perfect occupation.

Passion doesn’t come magically for free. It requires dedication and hard work.

Alignment with core values counts

However, at the same time too many of us spend our lives in settings, that go against our core values and our purpose. We do things and execute work that we don’t agree with in principle.

Both trying to find the one thing that will make you happy just by its nature as well as sticking with something that fundamentally disagrees with your core values and purpose are futile.

It is much better to understand what your core values and purpose are, and then experimenting with different things. Once you find something that aligns in principle and peeks you interest, go deep and give it your full self.

What makes you tick

Self reflection and self awareness is not easy. For some of us it comes more naturally, others never truly find it.

If you are not clear about what inherently motivates you and what turns you off, you can start journaling your mini-motivators. Throughout the day, what did you like, what felt great, and what didn’t. When you watch other people, what do you admire and what do you despise. What would you want other people to say about you, and what would you rather not?

Those should be small and in-the-moment things. Don’t overthink it. Jolt down the random reactions and thoughts as they come, for example ‘those meetings as sapping out my energy’, ‘it felt really good to help Joe through his problem’ or ‘it was awesome to solve this situation my way’.

After a few weeks look at those micro-motivators and see what patterns emerge.

Brainstorm on new options

Then reflect on how much those value and purpose patterns are matched in your current occupation. If they are not, make a list of other careers that would get you to a closer match. Don’t go for perfect match, chances are you won’t find that (lucky you, if you do!).

Make a list of those close matches and be aware that you will still have to work hard for them. Nothing will be rosy all day every day. Just setting expectations here.

Make a change, reinvent yourself

Let’s assume that your values and passions don’t align well with you current occupation. That’s nothing to feel bad about. For one, it’s super hard to find good alignment from the get go. In most cases we don’t know enough about the job as well as ourselves when we begin. Also we are (luckily!) changing over time and what might have been the perfect milestone a few years ago, might not fit anymore as our path leads us to the next one.

Start experimenting with the occupations that made it to your list. Or something completely different that just feels right for reasons that you cannot explain.

If we talk about big shifts in your occupation and trajectory, really experiment. Don’t go full in right away without really knowing if you like where you’re heading. Try out a few things on the side. Volunteer in the new occupation rather than leaving your current job only to figure out after a few months that the grass actually isn’t greener on the other side.

Experiment, be flexible

Experiment a lot. Learn from those experiments. Adjust what you know about yourself and tweak the list of things you want to do based on that knowledge.

Recognize open doors and opportunities as they present themselves and find the courage to explore them.

Don’t put yourself under the stress of having to succeed with the first thing you try out.

One of the life lessons I learned from my martial arts teacher was to have a plan but remain flexible.

Have a plan, but always keep your mind open for opportunities that present themselves. Have the flexibility and courage to leverage them. Life is a winding path, not a straight line.

Looking at my own winding path, I can point out at least four rather big shifts in the direction I was heading for. Each shift has set me back a little in short-term – as big change always does – but propelled me toward a much better place in the long-term. I don’t even want to imagine who I would be if I had been stuck in my initial (subsequent, current,..) choices.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 45: Practice Mindfulness

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You hear people talking about ‘mindfulness’ a lot these days. Some of it is hype, but it also is for good reason. For centuries philosophers, artists and monks have stressed the importance of being in the moment. Of fully living in the ‘now’. One key Zen principles is to ‘be in the here and now’.

Be in the here and now.

Mindfulness has many benefits to offer. It helps us be better at what we are doing, because we give it our full focus. It helps to calm our mind, because we don’t get distracted and torn between many things at the same time. And it helps us to be happier, because we put our full attention to the moment and with that have deeper and more satisfying experiences.

Uli teaches mindfulness for kids at our Elementary School and it helps kids who are struggling with their attention to re-center and to manage their emotions better. What she does are very simple exercises, but they have a strong and hopefully lasting impact on those kids.

Put some mindfulness into your life as well. That does not at all mean, that you need to book fancy classes or expensive coaches. It much rather means to simplify your thinking and to bring it back to the details of the current moment.

Focus on the task – What are you doing right now? What precisely? Are you on auto-pilot? If so, turn it off and go manual. Bring your attention back into what you’re doing. Deliberately execute every single step of your current task

Experience the environment – What sensations are you exposed to? What do you see, hear, feel and smell? Is it cold or warm right now? What is the feel, weight and texture of the tool you are using right now? What smells and sounds are in your environment?

Tune in to your body – How is your body feeling? Do you have tensions anywhere? Are you standing or sitting upright or slouching down? Are you smiling or frowning? Remember, your outside reflects on your inside, your posture reflects on your mood.

Listen to your breath – Your breath is your simplest but most powerful and important tool. First of all, without proper breathing you will die in minutes. But further, your breathing controls your mood, your stress level and even hormone levels like adrenaline. Learn to breathe deliberately and consciously. Learn to listen to your breathing. Learn to control your breathing and to let your breathing control your mindset. Start by just listening, then expand to gently controlling and adjusting the speed and pattern of your breathing.

Mindful exercises – Some exercises help you to be in the moment. Tai Chi is known for that effect, meditation as well. Yoga can get you there if you do it right. Most martial arts, taught by a true teacher, will lead your there as well. Running on the treadmill and watching the news or reading won’t. Those are good for cardio, but if you exercise distracted, you miss out on the awareness and mindfulness. I even stopped listening to music while I’m running on the trail. I loved it, but listening to the sounds of nature and feeling the gravel under my barefoot running shoes is even better.

Be mindful of what you do – every moment and every little detail of it!

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 44: Make Time for Creativity

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We are all creative and we enjoy, even crave expressing ourselves through that creativity. You might not know, but you are creative as well. It might be painting, writing, making music, sculpting, writing poems, working with flowers or gardens. Whatever it is, find the creative expression that is yours and embrace it.

Identify your creative passion. Embrace it. Block time. Have a regular date with your creativity. And don’t do it for anyone other than yourself.

For the longest time (about 50 years), I thought I didn’t have any creative talents or passions in me. Then one day it dawned on me, that I actually enjoy writing. And I have done it in one way or another my whole life, starting from early childhood. I have not given it the space it deserved or the acknowledgment I should have, but I’ve subconsciously done it anyway.

For Uli it’s painting and flower arrangements, for our 7 year old son it’s building stuff, and our daughter is just writing on her first horse book at the age of 9 (she only has about 10 pages so far, but that’s not the point).

Find out what fuels your creativity. If you already know, awesome. If you don’t, experiment. Try things out. Take a few classes. See what sticks.

Not knowing and exercising your creative passions leaves a big gap in your life.

Once you identified your creative passion, make time for it! Whether you block an hour every day, a few evenings during the week, or some time on Saturday and Sunday doesn’t matter. What matters is that you book that time with yourself and stick to it. Make an appointment. Have a date with your creativity.

Enjoy to witness as you create something new that you are passionate about. Most important, don’t worry about others. All that matters is what you think about your works and how you feel about the outcome.

Right now I’m sitting on a deck, in the sunshine, on a trip to Germany. The whole family is taking a nap while I can indulge in my creativity, writing down these thoughts.

‘An audience of one’ is a great book to explore that thought a little more.

Whatever it is for you, writing, painting, music, photography – do it, make it a point in your life!

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 43: Go Outside Into Nature

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Find some time to get out into nature!

Science has shown that getting out into nature on a regular basis boosts your health, and mental wellbeing. Make it a point to spend time in nature on a regular basis.

Get out into nature. The less manicured, the better. Pay attention to what you see, to the smells and sounds. Breathe! Live!

Walk your dog, hike, bike or play with your kids outside. Tend to your garden or backyard, get your hands dirty with soil. Whatever gets you going, do it. If you can’t get yourself to walking regularly, buy a dog.

Make it walking time in nature though, not the concrete deserts of the city. Human beings are animals at their cores. We need nature, we need the green and we need to see some natural messiness. Parks are ok, but the more natural ‘wilderness’ you can find, the better.

Find trees, mosses, green, dirt. Go out in nature and explore the small and big wonders.

There seems to be a fancy new term and movement for everything these days. Naturally there is also a fancy japanese way of walking in the woods. It’s called Shinrin-yoku (森林浴) and really only means to walk in the forest, be mindful of what you encounter and watch your breath. I leave it to you to decide is you need a Shinrin-yoku instructor or just some sturdy boots. Personally I opt for the latter, but I’m also a simple person.

Go low-key (dog walking) or fancy (Shinrin-yoku, forest bathing), whatever meets your needs, but do it!

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 42: Get Inspiration

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Just as our body needs food and nutrients, our mind needs inspiration. We usually get that inspiration from being exposed to new experiences, information and stimuli. The more we work in our comfort zone of the things we already know and the routines we already master, the less our minds are challenged, inspired and nurtured.

Seek out new experiences that challenge your existing beliefs. Nurture your mind. Get inspired and work hard for new insights, instead of being dulled by passive consumption.

Treat yourself with a new stimuli every day. Opt for active experiences and information over passive consumption. Active stimuli are those that you need to process and work for like learning a craft. Passive Stimuli are those that you can mindlessly consume like watching TV.

Ditch your TV (we did that many years ago and never regretted it), delete your computer games, limit your social media times.

Instead seek experiences that extend what you already know, push your boundaries and challenge your comfort zone.

There are many ways to stimulate and inspire yourself. Pick a few and make time for them. Pick a fixed time in your day or week that is devoted to those experiences and inspirations to make sure you prioritize them.

Reading – Read a non-fictional book about an area that interests you, or even a completely new topic. Read a chapter every day and reflect on it.

Learning a craft – Learn a new craft or a new hobby. Push yourself to learn and grow all the time. Maybe your job provides those opportunities, if it doesn’t, either seek out new challenges in your work or find them in your personal time.

Pursuit of mastery – Push for mastery in something that you are passionate about. Find something that excites you long-term and go deeper and deeper, exploring the core ideas and concepts (for me it’s my martial arts journey that kept me exploring and discovering for over 25 years now).

Different perspectives – Talk to interesting new people and try to understand their views. This is not about talking to the same people you already know and meet all the time. Those are often echo chambers, only confirming what you already believe. Rather seeks out new perspectives and opinions and reflect on them. Avoid negative people though, they are not worth the negative impact they will have on you.

Seek surprises – Expose yourself to situations that surprise you. Travel, seek out new experiences. Change your context and challenge your frameworks. Break complacency whenever it creeps up.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 41: Come Back to Yourself

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Who is the most important person in your life? It’s you. It has to be you!

You might be as altruistic as you may, you always have to take care of yourself first. “Put on your own oxygen mask first.”

Make time to meet yourself. Plan in me-time. Experiment and find the best way to connect with yourself.

Take time for yourself

There is no way you can take care of yourself if you don’t slow down every now and then and make time for it. Embrace the downtimes and slow down. We grow from stress and relieve, not from constant stress.

Come back to yourself

Not every method works for every person the same.

What is the best way for you to get back in touch with yourself? Experiment with different methods and find out what works best for you.

  • Mindfulness – Spend a few minutes with mindfulness, giving your attention to every single detail of a given experience, as mundane as eating a piece of fruit.
  • Walk outside – Go out side for a walk in nature and experience all the sights, sounds and smells that present themselves.
  • Meditate – Do some meditation, Yoga or Tai Chi. Listen to your breath. Watch your thoughts come, and then send them away again onto their journey.

Embrace the Yin and Yang. Most times of the day we are high-powered and push through our days, completely externally focused. Balance that external orientation with deliberate me-time. Experiment what works for you.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 40: Simplify and Declutter

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We already talked about focusing on your priorities, cleaning up your calendar and inbox and decluttering your workspace. Let’s now take a broader stab at simplification and decluttering.

Simplify and declutter. Do it quick and radically, it will develop inertia. Don’t limit decluttering to your physical space, do it everywhere. Don’t fill up the empty space with new stuff.

Simplification helps you be you more relaxed, in the moment and happier because you are distracted by fewer things. There’s less stuff to maintain or to worry about. Further, clean space allows your mind wander freely and come up with new ideas, while stuff distracts and captures it (often with all the things you still have to do, like dusting those vases…).

Simplify and declutter radically

Simplification and decluttering (i.e. the art of getting rid of things you don’t really need) gains momentum as you are doing it. It has a strong inertia in either direction.

It’s pretty hard to get started. Off the top of your head, you seem to need all the things you have – why else would you have bought them in the first place?

However, push through it. Once you identified a few things that you don’t need anymore, or never truly enjoyed having in the frist place, things will get easier. As you get rid of things, you will feel a relief and that will propel you to get rid of more things that you don’t really need or want anymore.

Be willing to cut deep and cut fast. Putting one thing away a week will not give you that momentum and positive feedback. Instead take a weekend afternoon and make it a goal to fill a whole moving box (or two if you are an ambitious person). Don’t fret over decisions, if you don’t want to fight for an object, you are probably ready to let go.

Cut your losses

There’s a rule in investing that applies here as well:

“Don’t throw good money after bad money.”

What that means is that you should not add additional money to a sub par investment only because you hope that it will get better in the future. While that stock that went down for a year is really cheap now, chances are that the trend will continue and you will lose a lot of money.

Likewise, if you have bought something in the past that seems like a less stellar idea today, don’t get stuck in that ‘investment’. It might have been a good idea back then, but if it is not anymore, then say goodbye. Don’t throw ‘good money’ (your time, energy and mental capacity) after ‘bad money’ (something you don’t care about anymore).

If you have separation anxiety, don’t throw things away or donate them right away. Put them in a box. Once you didn’t touch that box for three months, bring it to a local charity for donation.

It’s ok to have bought something that doesn’t fit your life anymore. Cut your losses.

One area at a time

Attack one area of simplification at a time. Don’t let yourself get distracted as you hop from area to area.

If you want to declutter your living room, don’t get distracted as you bring stuff out through the garage. Pick one area or room at a time and tune out everything else. As always: focusing wins the day!

Decluttering and simplification is not only about stuff. The space you live in has a big part, but clutter and complexity is everywhere. Address all those spaces:

  • Spaces – your home and living spaces, your yard, your office and work spaces, you storage (how much of that stuff do you really need),…
  • Obligations – emails, calendar, volunteering, promises to ‘friends’, events,…
  • Digital – websites, news, games, (phone) apps,…
  • Relationships – friends that don’t lift you up, connections that drag you down, negative people, ‘friends’ on social networks,…

Don’t fill up the empty space

Of course, once you have decluttered an area, don’t fill up the empty space with new stuff. Keep the emptiness and enjoy it.

A clean empty space is not an invitation to bring in lots of new stuff (new clutter).

Cherish it, protect it, feel really bad for anything that contaminates it. Regard anything that move into that space as an intruder who needs to fight for its right to be there.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.