Spiritual Balance – Week 35: Open Doors

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I’m a person of lists and plans. I always want to have a plan for the short and longer term. I need to be organized to feel comfortable and be in control.

However, I was also taught by my teacher early on in my martial arts training, that situations constantly change and we need to adapt to new opportunities and challenges. As they say in the military: “all plans are outdated upon first contact with the enemy”.

Have a plan and follow it. However, watch out for unexpected opportunities and be flexible enough to change your plan to embrace them.

We need to have a plan and a goal to know where we want to go to, and to make progress towards that destination, instead of wandering aimlessly around (“going nowhere fast”). However, that plan must not make us myopic and oblivious for necessary change.

Throughout my life, I always had a plan, but the best things happened when an unexpected opportunity presented itself and I reached out for it. Even though many times I was scared to my bones.

Having a plan and working towards it, prepares us to be ready for the moment when opportunities present themselves. However, if we don’t make the leap and grasp them, all the preparation was for nothing.

Have a plan, work on it. Prepare yourself, but be ready to drop your plan and adjust to the moment when needed. Don’t be scared of unexpected opportunities. They are when magic happens in life.

I recently read a very similar idea in ‘Racing Winter on the Pacific Crest Trail’, by Kyle S Rohrig. It goes like this:

There are always doors that open unexpectedly for us. Walk through them. After you walk through an open door, new doors will open up behind, eventually leading to an endless universe of open doors and opportunities. You find good thing behind open doors.

If you close the door, the opportunities end right there. That’s it, end of story, you’re stuck. Being stuck is stagnation. Stagnation is the beginning of the end.

Or in the words of Daoism:

When we are young we are flexible, we push out, we try new things and grow. When we stop being curious and flexible, we get hard. When we get hard, we break, crumble and fade away.

Be open, be flexible, see opportunities!

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 33: Accept your Worries and Then Take Action

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We all have our personal level of being worried, it actually doesn’t change much with external circumstances. Some people are just happy-go-lucky, while others tend to constantly mull in the past and worry about the future.

Accept your worries. Then take action!

External events might push us up or down for a while, but surprisingly we all bounce back to our personal levels, no matter how dramatic an event happened to be. A death of a loved one is devastating, but usually people move back to their previous happiness level after a while. Winning the lottery is thrilling, but the glamor fades aways quickly – as does the money in most cases.

Take action

Accept and embrace your personal level of worries. It is just what it is. Work with your worries, embrace them and take them as signals for things you can either improve in your current environment or at least mitigate.

However, don’t day-dream and hope that all your worries will be magically solved if only that specific one thing would change (e.g. you get that promotion, you move to that new place, you quit that job,…).

Your worries will not change because of external events. They will only change because of actions YOU take or mindset changes YOU make.

Fix your problems here and now and take them as opportunities to learn and grow. Don’t hope for that external change, that will make everything magically better.

Hope is a bad strategy.

Be in the here and now

Most times, taking action is the right approach, but sometimes you also need to change your perspective.

Mindfulness is a proven way to reduce your worries and increase your overall happiness. Observe the small things, like the taste and heat of the cup of coffee you hold in your hands. Enjoy the moment and the current pleasures, like the sunrays dancing on your face.

Be in the here and now.

Likewise, the people we are surrounded with influence our own moods in a great way. If you surround yourself with negative people, you will likely also develop a bleak view of the world. Change it. There are no brownie points for putting up with negative or rude people. Ditch them immediately and move on to greener pastures. If they happen to be family – do the same.

There are no free rides, people need to live up to being in your inner circle.

There are also times when an external change is actually needed. In those cases, move on and let go. At times, that’s good and necessary, just don’t think that you will magically be a happier or better person if you don’t change any of your inner parameters and attitudes along with it.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Spiritual Balance – Week 32: Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

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First we have focused on developing healthy habits to lay a sustainable foundation to go through our days. Then we explored ways to be more effective at work in order to free up time. Let’s take both to good use and move on to exploring what really matters to you and then making time for those things – your purposes.

Put on your own oxygen mask first.

When you travel on any commercial airplane, you will need to go through the safety briefing before taking off. One of things that stuck with me was the advice to “put on your own oxygen mask first”.

It seems to go against our instincts initially. We want to help our kids or the elderly before we turn our attention to our own needs. However that is shortsighted. Even if we want to help others, we first need to take care of ourselves.

Let me repeat this – before we can help others we need to take care of ourselves first!

In the specific example for airlines, there is no use in putting on the oxygen mask on your first child and then passing out before you can help the second. You have to get yourself into a stable spot before you can help others in a sustainable way. Put on your own oxygen mask first.

The same is true for less dramatic settings. You need to get yourself into a good spot first, before you can have positive impact on your family, friends, community or society at large.

Get yourself a healthy basis, de-stress your work, find the things you really care about, explore your passion, purpose and spirituality, and allocate time and energy to it. Then help others and make this world a better place. This is what these tips, hacks, habits and suggestions are all about.

Put on your own oxygen mask first.

Most likely the most important piece of advice of all.

 


Did you like this article? Want to read more?

I will keep posting articles here and I have them lined up way into summer 2020. However if you want to get it all in one comprehensive, structured, and grammar-checked (!) view, check out our new book:

 

Put on your oxygen mask first - book cover

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps

By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk

ISBN 9781077278929

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

 

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.